I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
