So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
