I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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