I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize