My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
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Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
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Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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