Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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