I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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