so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
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Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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