I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
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Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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