Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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