you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
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Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
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He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.