they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.