help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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