You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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