he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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