I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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