There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
