just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
