dude i'm inner monologue high
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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