What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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