We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
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There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
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Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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