Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka?
Forever.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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