Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You were trust falling into bushes
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
