Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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