ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
she pinky promised me she was 18
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
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I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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