You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
