My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I will be naked everywhere
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"