i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"