Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
My butt remains clenched, sir.