What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter