His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.