i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.