it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
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I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
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Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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