Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...