Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
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you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
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I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You were trust falling into bushes
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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