explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
When did angry sex become our thing?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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