It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize