I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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