Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
