while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.