Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
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i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
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Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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