so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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