What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize