This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Four minutes until I can fart!
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
