So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
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A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
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In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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