Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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