okay pat passed out under dana's car
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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