I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize