I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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