I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize