I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize