I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
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if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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