what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
