wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize