Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
