Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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