the vacuum is drunk
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??